Africa Pretty Much Pooched, say Leaders
Mozambique (LHJ) In a joint communique released by African Union leaders today at their annual meeting, presidents of some of the world's poorest nations declared that their respective countries were "pretty much screwed."

"Thing about it," said the communique. "There is a tidal wave...a freakin' tidal wave in Asia, and they raise tens of billions of dollars in weeks. Meanwhile, we have the same number of people dying of disease and starvation EVERY WEEK, and people just don't give a damn."

The communique went on to explain that the combination of G8 agricultrual subsidies to their own farmers, and oppressive debt have conspired to create a situation from which there is no way out.

"If there was the political will, we could clear this problem up in about 10 years," continued the communique. "And monkeys might fly out of our collective butts."

Critics were shocked by the frank admission of the African leaders, who responded that it was time for a 'reality check'.

Several Presidents announced that they were going to throw in the towel, and go back to building palaces with foreign aid dollars.

The G8 leaders summit begins this week.