Vancouver (Laddies Home Journal)
The Braidwood inquiry into the death of Robert Dziekanski was abruptly cancelled today on the grounds that "nobody cares anymore."
"This bloody thing has been dragging on for, what, a year and a half? Two years? Really, who gives a shit anymore." said Chief Inquiry Justice Thomas Braidwood to a nearly empty courtroom.
Despite an expected surge in media interest due to a BC Court of Appeal ruling that Braidwood could declare a verdict of misconduct on the part of RCMP, nobody seemed to really give a rat's ass.
"Nearly round the clock media coverage for over 18 months has probably sucked what little soul was left out of the news consuming puclic" said media consultant Thomas Drucker. "At first, the issue being carpet bombed across nearly all print and broadcast media served to highlight the importance of increasingly questionable conduct among Canada's national...damn... What was I talking about?"
In protest over the cancellation, a candlelight vigil was being held tonight by the the dozen remaining reporters assigned to cover the story who could suddenly find themselves downsized due to the inquiry's cancellation.
"At first I wrestled with the decision," explained Braidwood. "But then, I was, like, if there isn't a single person in Canada left who cares other than a bunch of reporters, and Robert's mom, I figured, What's the point?"
Braidwood is rumored to be scheduled to return to private law practice, where he will specialize in residential mortgages in an effort to "breath some excitement back into [my] life."
The Braidwood inquiry into the death of Robert Dziekanski was abruptly cancelled today on the grounds that "nobody cares anymore."
"This bloody thing has been dragging on for, what, a year and a half? Two years? Really, who gives a shit anymore." said Chief Inquiry Justice Thomas Braidwood to a nearly empty courtroom.
Despite an expected surge in media interest due to a BC Court of Appeal ruling that Braidwood could declare a verdict of misconduct on the part of RCMP, nobody seemed to really give a rat's ass.
"Nearly round the clock media coverage for over 18 months has probably sucked what little soul was left out of the news consuming puclic" said media consultant Thomas Drucker. "At first, the issue being carpet bombed across nearly all print and broadcast media served to highlight the importance of increasingly questionable conduct among Canada's national...damn... What was I talking about?"
In protest over the cancellation, a candlelight vigil was being held tonight by the the dozen remaining reporters assigned to cover the story who could suddenly find themselves downsized due to the inquiry's cancellation.
"At first I wrestled with the decision," explained Braidwood. "But then, I was, like, if there isn't a single person in Canada left who cares other than a bunch of reporters, and Robert's mom, I figured, What's the point?"
Braidwood is rumored to be scheduled to return to private law practice, where he will specialize in residential mortgages in an effort to "breath some excitement back into [my] life."
posted by Jason Allen at 10:58 PM
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