Bentonville (AR)
Arkansas based retailer Wal Mart announced today that it would be dealing with a chronic pre holiday overstaffing situation by "selling underemployed Associates."

"Rather than cut hours, or reduce already minimal benefits, we felt the only humane solution was to sell the associates to homes and families that could use a little help around the house this holiday," said Wal Mart spokesperson Belinda Friar. "At least this way our former Associates will have more purpose and direction in their lives than if we just laid them off," Friar continued. "Besides, there isn't much else any of them are qualified to do. Indentured servitude is really the best option."

Critics denounced the decision as "modern day slavery" and the American Civil Liberties Union was apparently already preparing it's first test case to battle the legality of the move. Critics are concerned however that with the massive erosion of civil rights in the United States since 9/11, that "Selling minimum wage store clerks into slavery just may be legal," according to one ACLU spokesperson.

Shareholders responded positively however, with Wal Mart shares closing up $1.50 during heavy trading volume.