Toronto (CP)
Liberal National convention organizers expressed disapointment today at the decision by Irish pop singer Bono not to attend this year's convention. Organizers had been hoping that the presence of the politically active superstar would boost sagging pre-registration to the convention.

Organizers announced instead that the keynote address would be delivered by none other than Muppets character The Swedish Chef.

"He's a shoe in," said National Convention Speaker's Bureau Director Eileen Crabtree. "He is well known for the clarity and insight of his speeches, especially in contrast to some of the policy statements coming from Paul Martin. I am sure he will be well received."

Some critics expressed reservations about the choice, but Crabtree responded "After 10 years of trying to decipher Mr. Chretien, the Swedish Chef is consistent with the message of this party. He speaks for unity, he speaks for greater cultural understanding, and he makes a wicked Lobster Bisque."

In other news, Sheila Copps announced that she would not be bowing out of the race, as widely reported today, instead opting to continue to "fight to the end." Insiders beleived that while Copps would probably not be rewarded with a cabinet position for her tenacity, she is being touted for a diplomatic position in either Manmyar or Haiti.