Revelations
So I've been on a communication skills course for a few days now, and in that course we have been talking about, and identifying which mental state, or 'ego state' to coin a psychological term we tend to use when communicating.

Mine, for ther record, are: Spontaneous child (SURPRISE!) and Nurturing Parent. However, I seemed to have developped an instinctive critical parent/angry child response to certain situations.

For instance,
In class today, we did a role play where we were videotaped responding to a certain situation. We were given a chance to prepare our questions and determine our objective for this discussion in advance, and then we role played it with one of the facilitators.

It all went fine and dandy, and then he threw me a major curve ball, and I got kind of off track.

So he turned the tape off, we all discussed (yes, this was in front of a group of 8 people...and being recorded on video tape) how I had been pulled off subject, and how to get back.

Then we resumed the role play, and recording.

And during the course of the next few minutes, something happened that I'm not entirely sure about.

The facilitator, acting as someone I work with, said something, and I'm really not sure what it was.

Because I responded in what I thought was a totally reasonable way, and everyone kind of leaned back in their chair...as if...to get out of the way of a small atomic blast.

And the facilitator got a little pale, and then gradually let me off the hook lightly and ended the role play.

We then discussed what had happened, and I really had no recollection of what I had said that had caused such a stir.

So an hour later or so I got to watch the video tape of myself responding to this question or comment Greg had made.

Oh my.

So apparently, when someone gets my goat, I revert to the harshest most sarcastic "critical parent" mental state there is, and proceed to talk to them as if they are a very small lump of green putty with an even smaller brain made of grey putty, and I wish to make it abundantly clear that if they were to be crushed under a homeless person's heel tomorrow, not only would nobody mourn, no one would even notice.

Damn! It was harsh.

So to anyone I have ever made to feel very small and insignificant, I would like to take this opportunity to apologize. I realize now that I have an absolutely acid tongue when pissed off, and I'm sorry if I used it on you.

Except for Craig Kembley. You deserved it. If that offends you, come see me after you've been paroled.

Damn, there it is again!

I guess I always knew that I had a bit of a razor tongue when upset, I had just never witnessed myself using it on someone there indisputably on a video screen...someone whom I respect quite a bit, who was playing the part of someone else whom I also respect.

I guess I can be a little condescending sometimes, can't I?

What was it Socrates said? Or more importantly the Oracle in the Matrix?
Know thyself.
Oh well, live and learn.