Old Post IV
I have received no small measure of flak recently for my lack of regular updates, so here goes.
Random thoughts.
1. I was returning a copy of "Think and Grow Rich" the other day to the library, and couldn't help but think how ironic it would have been if it had been overdue, and I had had to pay fines on it.
2. I was looking at a can of tuna today, which said "Tuna - Thon" because of Canada's bilingual packaging laws. However if you mash the two words together, you get the somewhat incongrous english word Tunathon. It occurs to me that a Tunathon might be an excellent fundraiser for the beleagered Atlantic Cod Fishermen. They could hold a contest to see who could catch the most Tuna, and the winner would be awarded a $1,000,000 prize, which would be donated by Chuck Guite under a plea bargain arrangement. Think about it, it has potential.
3. I find myself drawn to the game of Craps. For those of you who don't know, it is a dice game popular in Casinos. Unfortunately, the reason I want to play it is so I can say, "Baby needs a new pair of shoes!" as I roll the dice. Because my baby DOES need a new pair of shoes. He has outgrown his. Not that I need to win a craps game to buy him some I just haven't gotten around to it, but it would be cool to say it in that context and for it to be true. Maybe it's just me.
4. The new Dr. Who rocks. Ok, I'm a geek. Sue me.
Random Anecdotes about the baby.
1. Noelle has trained Isaac that when he eats dinner, he gets a mashed vegetable first, and then a mashed fruit for dessert. This has spawned two humorous incidents, both involving me feeding him. The first was when Noelle was out recently, and I had to feed him dinner. I gave him pureed carrots, and then couldn't immediately find a fruit, and had no idea about the process of stewing an apple or a pear, so tried to give him some pureed beans as his second course. Bad idea. He hollered like he was being abducted by Nazis. So I dug around in the fridge and found some pureed peaches which I hadn't noticed the first time, and he scarfed them like he hadn't eaten a meal in six weeks.
2. The second incident was also when Noelle was out, and I tried to feed him pureed carrots and zuchinni. He didn't want carrots and zuccini (sp?), he wanted fruit. Both times. So he wailed, and gnashed his teeth (ok, gums), and carried on. Soon he discovered that every time he opened his mouth to cry, I would stuff in a spoonful of veggies, which he would dutifully swallow. Eventually he caught on, and tried to cry with his mouth closed, so as to still express his displeasure, while not being forced to eat the object of his displeasure. He eventually finished the veggies, and proceeded to eat the pureed plums like someone being offered a Snickers bar after a 40 day fast. It's embarrassing really.
3. He finds things randomly funny. Today I discovered that he finds the phrase "Domo Harigato, Mr. Roboto" hilarious. I was repeating it over and over again in the Starbucks, and he was giggling his heart out. Together, we looked like a couple of freaks, but he's just going to have to get used to that. Also for weeks now, the phrase "Cha cha cha!" would send him into peals of laughter. Very odd.
4. He is growing very very fast. I know alot of people think we feed him too much, but the fact is if we don't, he'll stretch out into a very long, very thin baby. He also needs to keep his strength up for his Kamikaze rolling technique. That's where he discovers that a toy is just out of reach, but if he rolls over he can get it. Then he finds another toy that is also out of reach, and rolls over again to reach it. Then he just decides he likes rolling over, and proceed merrily across the floor. We sweep alot more often now.
5. If someone wants to get really wealthy in a hurry, they will start baking teething biscuits shaped like TV Remotes. Because no matter how much money you spend on colourful educational toys, all babies want to play with is TV remotes. And by 'play with', I mean 'eat'. So a teething biscuit shaped like a remote is a logical next step. Of course you would have to point it at the TV once or twice, and then forbid the baby from touching it, but after you do that a couple times you won't be able to keep him away from it.
6. Rules for being a baby:
a) There is better than here.
b) If it fits in your hand, it fits in your mouth.
c) If mommy and daddy don't want you to have it, it's probably because it tastes wonderful.
d) Newspapers are a fun toy.
e) Cat hair is not attached all that firmly.
f) Mommy hair is.
g) Why reach, when you can lunge?
h) Sleep is optional.
7. We are preparing the first draft of the first chapter of Isaac's biography. We are calling it "Will of iron, lungs of steel." Remind you of anyone?
8. You may have learned in Biology class that plants were the only creatures that receive nourishment through Osmosis...or the transfer of nutrients between layers of tissue. This is patently untrue. Babies also receive nourishment through a special "Osmosis Patch" on their lower chins. You see, babies do not actually swallow food, they drool it down their chins, where they receive their nutrients through their skin through the process of Osmosis. If you don't beleive me, look it up!
9. 'Diaper' spelt backwards is "repaid". Think about it. - Marshall McLuhan
I have received no small measure of flak recently for my lack of regular updates, so here goes.
Random thoughts.
1. I was returning a copy of "Think and Grow Rich" the other day to the library, and couldn't help but think how ironic it would have been if it had been overdue, and I had had to pay fines on it.
2. I was looking at a can of tuna today, which said "Tuna - Thon" because of Canada's bilingual packaging laws. However if you mash the two words together, you get the somewhat incongrous english word Tunathon. It occurs to me that a Tunathon might be an excellent fundraiser for the beleagered Atlantic Cod Fishermen. They could hold a contest to see who could catch the most Tuna, and the winner would be awarded a $1,000,000 prize, which would be donated by Chuck Guite under a plea bargain arrangement. Think about it, it has potential.
3. I find myself drawn to the game of Craps. For those of you who don't know, it is a dice game popular in Casinos. Unfortunately, the reason I want to play it is so I can say, "Baby needs a new pair of shoes!" as I roll the dice. Because my baby DOES need a new pair of shoes. He has outgrown his. Not that I need to win a craps game to buy him some I just haven't gotten around to it, but it would be cool to say it in that context and for it to be true. Maybe it's just me.
4. The new Dr. Who rocks. Ok, I'm a geek. Sue me.
Random Anecdotes about the baby.
1. Noelle has trained Isaac that when he eats dinner, he gets a mashed vegetable first, and then a mashed fruit for dessert. This has spawned two humorous incidents, both involving me feeding him. The first was when Noelle was out recently, and I had to feed him dinner. I gave him pureed carrots, and then couldn't immediately find a fruit, and had no idea about the process of stewing an apple or a pear, so tried to give him some pureed beans as his second course. Bad idea. He hollered like he was being abducted by Nazis. So I dug around in the fridge and found some pureed peaches which I hadn't noticed the first time, and he scarfed them like he hadn't eaten a meal in six weeks.
2. The second incident was also when Noelle was out, and I tried to feed him pureed carrots and zuchinni. He didn't want carrots and zuccini (sp?), he wanted fruit. Both times. So he wailed, and gnashed his teeth (ok, gums), and carried on. Soon he discovered that every time he opened his mouth to cry, I would stuff in a spoonful of veggies, which he would dutifully swallow. Eventually he caught on, and tried to cry with his mouth closed, so as to still express his displeasure, while not being forced to eat the object of his displeasure. He eventually finished the veggies, and proceeded to eat the pureed plums like someone being offered a Snickers bar after a 40 day fast. It's embarrassing really.
3. He finds things randomly funny. Today I discovered that he finds the phrase "Domo Harigato, Mr. Roboto" hilarious. I was repeating it over and over again in the Starbucks, and he was giggling his heart out. Together, we looked like a couple of freaks, but he's just going to have to get used to that. Also for weeks now, the phrase "Cha cha cha!" would send him into peals of laughter. Very odd.
4. He is growing very very fast. I know alot of people think we feed him too much, but the fact is if we don't, he'll stretch out into a very long, very thin baby. He also needs to keep his strength up for his Kamikaze rolling technique. That's where he discovers that a toy is just out of reach, but if he rolls over he can get it. Then he finds another toy that is also out of reach, and rolls over again to reach it. Then he just decides he likes rolling over, and proceed merrily across the floor. We sweep alot more often now.
5. If someone wants to get really wealthy in a hurry, they will start baking teething biscuits shaped like TV Remotes. Because no matter how much money you spend on colourful educational toys, all babies want to play with is TV remotes. And by 'play with', I mean 'eat'. So a teething biscuit shaped like a remote is a logical next step. Of course you would have to point it at the TV once or twice, and then forbid the baby from touching it, but after you do that a couple times you won't be able to keep him away from it.
6. Rules for being a baby:
a) There is better than here.
b) If it fits in your hand, it fits in your mouth.
c) If mommy and daddy don't want you to have it, it's probably because it tastes wonderful.
d) Newspapers are a fun toy.
e) Cat hair is not attached all that firmly.
f) Mommy hair is.
g) Why reach, when you can lunge?
h) Sleep is optional.
7. We are preparing the first draft of the first chapter of Isaac's biography. We are calling it "Will of iron, lungs of steel." Remind you of anyone?
8. You may have learned in Biology class that plants were the only creatures that receive nourishment through Osmosis...or the transfer of nutrients between layers of tissue. This is patently untrue. Babies also receive nourishment through a special "Osmosis Patch" on their lower chins. You see, babies do not actually swallow food, they drool it down their chins, where they receive their nutrients through their skin through the process of Osmosis. If you don't beleive me, look it up!
9. 'Diaper' spelt backwards is "repaid". Think about it. - Marshall McLuhan
posted by Jason Allen at 9:54 PM
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