Fashion Tips for Men
I had a fairly good response to my post earlier about Noelle buying me a coat, and how unfashionable it made me feel. For the record, she bough the wrong size, and when I took it back, they were out of my size, so I did end up going and buying my own. It's quite nice. Really.
However, I thought I would expand on that theme, and offer the following tip for men:
How to dress better, every single day.
1. Aquire a fountain pen. The Pilot Petit would work just fine.
2. Put on a Polo Shirt. The type Russell Smith likes to make fun of.
3. Because the Polo Shirt has no pockets, clip the mini fountain pen in between the first and second buttons.
4. Throw the shirt in the laundry hamper at the end of the day, without removing the Pen, which is completely hidden by being mostly inside the shirt.
5. Wash the shirt, along with most of your casual pants (the ones Mr. Smith also hates), and a few of your favorite casual shirts. Do not inform the "magic laundry fairy" that the pen is still clipped into the shirt.
6. Put all the clothes and the pen in the dryer.
7. Voila! You have now destroyed about half of your casual wardrobe.
8. Go upstairs to your closet, and resign yourself to wearing dress slacks, and "ironing-dependant" shirts until boxing day, when things go on sale.
But that's ok. I have a strategy for Boxing Day. Or more specifically, Boxing week. The main thing to remember, is that Men hate to shop. So the only thing they will be shopping for on the Day itself, is large, expensive electronics.
No guy in his right mind will be anywhere near an Old Navy that day. Oh, there may be guys in there, but they will certainly not be in their right minds. They will be in the mindset of a Combat Soldier in the middle of a Kandahar fire-fight.
Once the dust has settled, then go to the clothing stores on the 27th, and scoop all the deals.
The only thing that could put a spanner in the works, is the whole subject of the previous post, about men never dressing themselves. What will screw things up is if the Women who will be out shopping for clothes in great numbers, decide to scoop some deals for the men they dress.
I'm prepared to take that chance.
I had a fairly good response to my post earlier about Noelle buying me a coat, and how unfashionable it made me feel. For the record, she bough the wrong size, and when I took it back, they were out of my size, so I did end up going and buying my own. It's quite nice. Really.
However, I thought I would expand on that theme, and offer the following tip for men:
How to dress better, every single day.
1. Aquire a fountain pen. The Pilot Petit would work just fine.
2. Put on a Polo Shirt. The type Russell Smith likes to make fun of.
3. Because the Polo Shirt has no pockets, clip the mini fountain pen in between the first and second buttons.
4. Throw the shirt in the laundry hamper at the end of the day, without removing the Pen, which is completely hidden by being mostly inside the shirt.
5. Wash the shirt, along with most of your casual pants (the ones Mr. Smith also hates), and a few of your favorite casual shirts. Do not inform the "magic laundry fairy" that the pen is still clipped into the shirt.
6. Put all the clothes and the pen in the dryer.
7. Voila! You have now destroyed about half of your casual wardrobe.
8. Go upstairs to your closet, and resign yourself to wearing dress slacks, and "ironing-dependant" shirts until boxing day, when things go on sale.
But that's ok. I have a strategy for Boxing Day. Or more specifically, Boxing week. The main thing to remember, is that Men hate to shop. So the only thing they will be shopping for on the Day itself, is large, expensive electronics.
No guy in his right mind will be anywhere near an Old Navy that day. Oh, there may be guys in there, but they will certainly not be in their right minds. They will be in the mindset of a Combat Soldier in the middle of a Kandahar fire-fight.
Once the dust has settled, then go to the clothing stores on the 27th, and scoop all the deals.
The only thing that could put a spanner in the works, is the whole subject of the previous post, about men never dressing themselves. What will screw things up is if the Women who will be out shopping for clothes in great numbers, decide to scoop some deals for the men they dress.
I'm prepared to take that chance.
posted by Jason Allen at 8:48 AM
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