S.A.M. production to exceed even I.S.A.A.C. levels
Hamilton (LHJ)
Allen Industries Co-President Jason Allen announced today that the company would be exceeding Drool production targets again this year, after lagging behind in the previous 6 quarters.
"Once production leveled off with the I.S.A.A.C. (Immense Saliva Amount Accumulor/Creator) after he stopped teething, we suffered a serious downturn in our Drool production capabilities." explained Allen.

"Add to that the fact that the S.A.U.D.I's (Saliva Accumulation in Underground Deposits Initiative) were dumping drool on the spot market at absurdly low prices, it led to a serious downturn in our fortunes." he continued.

Now, all signs point to a massive ramp up in drool production as the S.A.M. (Saliva Accumulation Machine) ramps up to possibly exceed previous records set by I.S.A.A.C. and T.O.A.S.T. (Totally Overwhelming Amount of Saliva Tank) in the early part of the decade.

"As long as S.A.M. continues to teethe, we know we can expect record breaking drool production. " Explained Allen. "If I were you, I would be investing heavily in Allen Industries. Oh, and also in whoever makes Ora Jel."